Almost a full year. I don't know what happened. I don't know why I gave up or stopped trying. I guess I just got insecure and starting believing lies like "it doesn't matter if you write," "you're not a good writer," or "what's the point of a blog, you're so self-centered thinking someone would want to read about your life, struggles, or experiences." I really need to lighten up and stop being so hard on myself. I write for me and to connect with others who might be going through the same thing. So often in this world I think we start to think no one else understands, cares, or has been through tough times. The truth of the matter is that we all need to be a little more real with one another. I need to stop believing all of those horrid lies and focus on truth. The truth is my experiences matter. My journey is important, because it's perfect and exactly how God wants it to be. Whether I'm joyful or in tears it matters. Another discouraging thought. I'm an English teacher, and sometimes I don't care about grammar or rules. I can't be writing a blog and have grammatical errors. Well... i'm giving up on that concept. Sometimes it's ok to just write and forget a comma or to capitalize i. Life goes on. i kinda like the fact that maybe i could just type my experiences and sometimes just break all the rules. it's a bit freeing.
So, today i'm back. it feels nice and it feels exciting. in a way this blog keeps me accountable. accountable to live for the moment, to love life, and to think deeply. I hope this try lasts.
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