hidden treasures

This summer flew by.  Like as in I don't even remember the month of June happening at all.  I think we skipped it.  I did, however, find the time to fall in love with the city of Richmond again.  It became a daily treat when I would be doing my everyday routine and I would pause and look around me, be blown about at the world, and say to myself, "Wow, this is really beautiful."  If you don't believe me ask Katie Johnson she was with me when I said this out loud, and I think she laughed at me.  Going to school in Harrisonburg surrounded by gorgeous mountains and sunsets that could be actual paintings makes it a little more difficult to find beauty in the hustle and bustle of city life...  It's there.  Trust me.  I'll prove it. 

 Short Pump, sitting at a table outside of Whole Foods. 

Rocket's Landing.  Dinner along the river facing the city at sunset.  What is my life!

Scuffletown was my favorite hidden treasure right in the middle of the fan area.  I went to dinner with my current roommate Brently, and she showed me this beautiful garden.  The most wonderful thing about Scuffletown is that it is literally someone's back yard.  Brently told me that a little old man did all the work and opened it up to the public, or I guess just allows people to enjoy it.  Just because he wants to.  He doesn't take any money for it.  It's clean, beautiful, and truly an oasis.  

I took Jeremy after he took his Hebrew final.  Which he got an A in. :) It was the first place in Richmond that I introduced Jeremy to (that he didn't already know about), so it was a big deal.  He loved it, and was just as surprised as I was when he saw it.  If you are outside of Strawberry Street Cafe (on Strawberry Street), just walk across the street through an alley way and you are there.  

Did I mention it's beautiful.

It even has rules. If you want to take your rabbit for a walk... don't take it here...

HAHA this was hilarious.  It's just a garden area.  Who knows what will happen if you venture where you are not suppose to be.

It is magical indeed.  

It was hard to leave Richmond to go back to JMU, because I felt like there was so much more that I just simply hadn't seen.  I can't wait to be back in Richmond, but I think I learned something really valuable in the process.  God's beautiful creations are everywhere.  It's all about perspective.  We can choose to look at the dirty and plain parking lot or we can turn around and admire the flowers and the colors that surround us each and everyday.  If you find any great treasures let me know!

home.

When I look back on the summer I am overwhelmed with the great about of blessing, trials, and adventure it has shown me.  I can't believe that I even took a class in May.  It feels like an eternity ago that I was graduating from JMU.  I prayed for friends, and I got them. I have had such good and deep conversation.  I had so much fun with the boys I have been nannying.  I can't believe it is my last day with thursday.  crazy.  This summer has been incredibly good to me, and I am thankful for it.  When I reflect back I do, however, crave one feeling.  comfort.  I have been pushed way out of my comfort zone, which it good, and that is what the Lord calls us to do.  We have to rely on him when we are uncomfortable.  so in that way it's good.  but it's exhausting.  I long for a couple hours a day of comfort.  maybe it's the introvert in me, but a few hours a day to sit at home alone, i crave it just as much as i crave mexican food, only mexican is a lot easier to get it seems.

I started writing this post a week ago, but it all just seemed to be so negative that I decided that I would just give up on it and try and just think of the blessing and positive things in my life.  I feel, however, that this is something that has been a part of my for so long that it has started to consume my mind.  I want a home.  The smell, the feel, the mess, the colors, the memories, the conversations, the comfort.  A place to call my own.  But right now, that is not what the Lord has for me.  It's something that I need to seek him in, because honestly we should always crave home.  No matter how hard we try to make own home on this earth; we were created for so much more.  Our home is found in heaven.  I don't really know what else to say.. it's just a part of life.  but i choose to be thankful. no matter where I am.

steady my heart

Walking in Light

I honestly don't know how to start this post, my heart is so overwhelmed with the glory of God and the true good and faithful character of God.  I feel like my head is going 100 miles a minute and I can't form my words to save my life, but I am going to try.  About a year and a half ago I was reading though 1 John in the bible and was struck by verse 5. "God is light; in him there is no darkness at all." Literally in my bible this verse is highlighted in purple and the words "at all" are underlined.  I wasn't quite sure what it meant, but for some reason every time I look at it I find myself pausing and dwelling on the verse.  Earlier this morning I was praying, and I specifically prayed that God would use my blog to share his truth.  Without God there is NO purpose, and I want my blog to have purpose.  By the end of the prayer this verse was yet again placed on my heart.  SO, I am taking it as a sign to start the process to uncover what the Lord wants me to get from it.  I by NO MEANS am an expert on the Bible, know all about the culture, or facts about the time period in which it was written.  But, I am going to try and let the Holy Spirit lead, and see what happens.

"God is light; in him there is no darkness at all." - 1 John 1:5

Why do bad things happen to good people?  or better question... Why does GOD let bad things happen to good people?  Typically, when we give into these questions and start to believe them we loose sight of the character of God.  God is love.  God works for our Good.  Those are truths.  Believe them! So, when things in the world happen like divorce, death, lies, betrayals, hatred, murders, abuse, and so much more God is working for our good?  That doesn't seem right, does it?  That's because it's not right.  As human beings we are unable to see the full plan on God.  If God's plan is the ocean, we are like ants.  We can not comprehend it.  Okay, so if that's the case.. and in the end the plan will end good.. the verse says "in him there is no darkness at all."  In him, in his plan, in who Christ is there is no darkness.  Then why as a believer in Jesus Christ do I have a heck load of obstacles, trials, and seem to be experiencing incredibly dark days?  I could take the easy way out and just say "sin" and be done with this verse.. but I think it is so much more than that!

I don't know about you, but I like to be in control.  I like to know what is going to happen and when it is going to happen.  I like to have the final say, and sometimes I find that I am this way with God.  God wants ALL of you, but sometimes I want to choose what parts of my life I want God to be control of.  Usually, I give God the easy jobs.  The harder, messy, complicated, and shameful parts of my life I want to keep to myself, because I THINK I can handle them.  This is how darkness creeps into our lives and we find ourselves in ugly situations.

My parents got a divorce when I was in 3rd grade and over the years my earthly father has become less and less of a person I would even call family.  In high school, I found myself eliminating him completely from life.  I was happier, and it made life easier.  Was it really?  No.  I basically told God that my dad was unfixable and that it would be easier for me to just forget about him than it would be to fix him and our relationship.  WHO AM I TO DO THAT!  Who am I to hide things from God.  He already knows, and if I let him, he could definitely handle those circumstances better than I obviously did.  Needless to say, when I was a senior in college, it all caught back up to me.  I found myself getting ready for class and then out of no where breaking down and crying for a straight hour and a half.  God doesn't let us forget or run away from our trials.  He tells us that there is no darkness in him at all because if we allow God into those areas that we are ashamed of or just seem unsalvageable he will show us the light.  We need to give him EVERYTHING.  He deserves the glory, not us.  He works for our good.  He is willing to heal.  So WHY HIDE?  We all have dark spots in our lives.  As a body of Christ wouldn't the Lord be more glorified and be able show us his true power, glory, and majesty if we let him work for our good.  How long can we run?  God is love.  He loves us more than our minds can comprehend.  Trust HIM.  Because, Light truly IS stronger than Darkness.    

I want a grown up room.

I'm 22, going to grad school, living with my parents, and have zero monies. I feel like when I was a little girl and you asked me to pick the perfect age, which meant that I could do anything and I would officially be a real grown up.. it probably would have been 17 haha.  Now birthday after birthday I am still finding that I have so much to learn about "growing up."  Right now I dream about the days when I can own my own house and decorate it just how I like.. aka no budget :) A girl can dream right?!  Well, my really good friend Katie decided that she was going to redo her room, top to bottom, and she wanted it to be like a "grown up room."  Perfect! this was exactly what I wanted to do! I couldn't redo my own room, for the circumstances above wouldn't allow for it, but helping a friend reach this step, I would be honored.

It started out with our FAVORITE store HomeGoods.  If you haven't been you HAVE to go.  It has really nice looking things for really good prices.  Prices that college girls love, or anyone on a budget really!  If I had to describe it I would say a Ross' for strictly home decor.  Katie had described to me what the colors she wanted and I was immediately on board.  We literally looked through the entire store and ended up leaving with 3 really beautiful, but totally different, picture frames.  Although Katie said they would go perfect I was having a hard time picturing it.  I have a hard time visioning things I guess.  Friday, after work we started the makeover process, and one of the best weekend's I have had thus far this summer!

I'll start with the before photos.  Katie's room, much like a lot of people in the transition stages of life, had walls painted a bright  teal color, she and her sister painted while she was in high school or maybe even earlier, I forget.  Anyhow, she had a lot of stuff to go through.  So, we made many the trips to alternate bedrooms to store her things.

We removed the bed, before I could take pictures :) oops we were excited for a change!

BUDDY!! Buddy was a hugh part of the process.  I would like to say that he was the overseer of the entire makeover process.  We couldn't have done it without him!

We went to Lowe's to select a paint color, and after many many many options we decided to go with "Spiced Delight" and we were extremely happy with our choice!  Dinner, lifting, spackling, sanding, taping, and priming took us to very very late hours of the night, but we were so motivated to get the entire painting done before we went to sleep.  So needless to say we were VERY VERY excited and thankful with Katie's sister Kelly showed up! 

Our trustee overseer didn't leave our side the entire night.  Didn't move an inch.

Saturday morning, it was time to shop for those finishing touches, and shop we did! Because we were on a budget the priorities had to be met first.  The bed.. DUH!  It was my favorite part of the room when we were done!  A great find at HomeGood added the perfect pop of color in a throw pillow, and beige sheets from Wal-Mart definitely completed the look we were going for! Katie had already purchased the comforter from IKEA, which was really what we tried to based the room and color choices around.

Katie's favorite painting "Almond Blossom" by Van Gogh

Assortment of picture frames covering an entire wall :)

                    

HomeGoods! You have to go! This mirror was only $30! It was my second favorite part of the room... a little heavy so make sure to have heavy duty nails.  We may or may not have created a little bit of a "Swiss Cheese" action in the wall??

I mean check out the detail :) so beautiful!

Katie had an iron, a legit iron, from her grandmother! I thought that was so cool, and it really added character to the room.

Jane Austen...enough said.

"I want a grown up room!" I think we accomplished that, and I am so excited about it.  Even though it isn't my own room, I am so thankful that I was able to be apart of the process with Katie.  It was so much fun and we got to use our HGTV knowledge, firsthand.  If I had to give one bit of advice it would be that "less it more."  Definitely.  When on a budget don't try and fill the room up right away.  Wait for those special items to come to you and build your room overtime.  I think it's a lot more fun that way :)  Life is so complicated in itself, it is so nice to come home to a room where there are no distractions and just peace. What room am I going to do next?? I think I'm addicted! 

He is good

I am finally getting my blog more and more finished and how I would like it to be.  I am still unsure as to  what I want this blog to be about, but I think I am getting more and more comfortable with the fact that it can be an ongoing process.  I want it to be real, honest, but still positive.  I am not perfect and now that I think I am going to allow others to read this, I think that it's a bit nerve-racking to think about all the different opinions, but I just want to write and express how I am feeling in a way that is relatable and thought-provoking.  Even though I have an English degree and hope to teach English in the future, not everything will be grammatically correct, because I tend to type just how I would be saying it.  Maybe fragments, and maybe a LOT of exclamation points.  haha.  Overall, I just hope and pray that I can keep my heart and mind focused on the blessing of God, and I ask that my readers hold me accountable to that.  There is always something beautiful within the chaos and messy parts of life, and that is where I want my focus to remain.  (deep breath) okay I think I am ready...


SO now for what has been going on...


This summer has been crazy, full of adventure, and trials.  Just thinking about it I get so overwhelmed and have no idea where to start.  So I'll just start somewhere.  I think the biggest thing I have been learning this summer is that I definitely do NOT give God nearly enough credit.  in anything! not praising, not hope, not trust, and definitely not presence.  I have found myself more often than not thinking to myself, "what the heck are you doing God, this sucks, are you even here?" "Are you listening?"  And you know what, every single time I get slapped in the face with patience.  I have none.  If only I would have trusted and waiting for God's perfect timing, I would have seen his glory, and the awesome plan he had for me.  I worry far too much.  Why!  God has shown me over and over and over again that he is working for my GOOD.  I need to trust in that.  God has such great things planned for us, if only we could let HIM work and stop trying to plan our own (less fulfilling) paths.


I also believe a whole lot of lies :( I am not proud of this at all and sometimes let them get the best of me.  I have been praying for boldness, because I have found that when I am pushed out of my comfort level that is the time when I have no other choice but to trust in the truths of the Lord.  For example: I want to tell you about this one sunday where God completely blew my mind.  COMPLETELY!

Some of this is embarrassing and you are going to think I am dumb, but I'm flawed and insecure sometimes but that is just who I am, but feel free laugh.  I do, haha.

It was Father's Day service at WEAG and first off I don't like Father's Day, because I haven't talked to my dad is about 7 years.  I don't even have his phone number.  So really if you ask me about my dad I would probably just say I don't really have one, but I would tell you about me Grandfather instead.  Also this sunday was the first sunday EVER that I went to church without Jeremy.  It was a big deal, and I have to give my self a pep talk the entire way there... it went something like this.  "You go to church for Jesus not people, not jeremy, and not because you are perfect." I said that over and over and over the entire way to church (30 minute drive).  

I remember walking about an being beyond nervous because I didn't know who was going to be there or if I would have anyone to sit with.  I was nervous that I was going to have to sit by myself :( Im a loser.  The first person I saw was Megan Corker (praise Jesus).  She had recently joined the church and was volunteering as a greeter.  She immediately smiled and asked about the praxis 2 exam that, at the time had not passed yet, and so we talked about that and the plan God has and a little bit of her life.. but the music started so she asked me to take her bag and save her a seat with me.  YAY I didn't have to sit by myself for the whole service!  So I went over to where Jeremy and I usually sit and I see a friend from high school, and as soon as I got to her she saw someone she knew and left to sit with them and so there I was sitting all by myself.. my nightmare has become a reality.  :( BUT I was there for Jesus and not people (remember).  I tried to focus on worship and continued to repeat my pep talk over and over and over again.  IM A LOSER I KNOW.  So anyways Missy (a youth leader that I had met the Christmas Party) was sitting behind me, so that made me feel a little more comfortable. Megan was still doing her  greeting duties so I was still on a row by myself.  haha so after worship we pray and Sue walks up to give her sermon and Megan comes and sits down with me.  

Sue's sermon: Searching For My Father - I recommend listening to it because there is no way I could do it justice! I cried my eyes out for 30 minutes AFTER the service.  I got so much out of her message that I would have probably never gotten to hear if I given into the lies and fear my mind was believing.

I  sat there with Megan crying because she was so touched by the sermon as well ... we are sooooooo similar it isn't even funny! We ended up getting lunch the very next day and ended up talking for hours and hours and to this day am so incredibly thankful for that Sunday morning.  God is so good when we trust him and are willing to be used and willing to DO what he asks us to do.  That was BY FAR the best day of the summer.  Sometimes we have to give ourselves pep talks because what God wants us to do is out of our comfort zones, but trust he is on your side! He is Good so very good!